I Don’t Care How You Get Here – Writing advice from Oleta Adams

2015-03-02 10.32.37

I follow a lot of podcasts, but there are only a few that I feel compelled to listen to the absolute second they are downloaded. Two on that list are the Self Publishing Podcast and Better Off Undead. Both are from the same three inspirational and relatively insane guys and every now and then they mention the movie Birdemic.

I love horrible movies. They are great for learning what not to do. I wrote about my love of bad dialogue here when Sharknado came out. So, because of the SPP/BOU guys, I decided to revel in the awfulness that I expected Birdemic to be. I’m twenty minutes in and it has already reached a level of god-awful that just might be above my threshold.

Not only am I being bombarded with horrible camera work and dialogue worthy of an elementary- school play (things that I am more than willing to watch), the transition between scenes is a nightmare. This is where I’m going to take my writing lesson from.

I saw this a lot more when I was in school, but I still see it in my writing group every now and then – As long as the shift between scenes doesn’t confuse the reader… nobody gives a damn about the drive. So far, in the first 20 minutes of Birdemic, there has been more driving time filmed than in the entirety of Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

Nothing happens on these drives. I don’t just mean that nothing that drives the plot happens… I mean NOTHING. If nothing happens on the drive between scenes (car jacking, a convo that reveals part of the plot, running over a jogger… something), then please – for all our sakes – leave it out. Get on with the story.

Neither Oleta nor I care how you get here…

THB

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